Tuesday, July 16, 2013

CD: Jane Reichhold's "Sweeping the Porch"

Carpe Diem Special #47



Our challenge is to write a haiku in the same spirit as Jane Reichhold's haiku:

sweeping the porch
bright prints of raindrops 

followed by splashes

My attempt:

dusting his dresser
tracing blurred memories
of life together




16 comments:

  1. Oh this is poignant. I can see and feel this moment you have described.

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  2. This is lovely -- so much in so few words.

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  3. This gives me so many different images, some sad, some sentimental and some needing a good clean :)

    warm summer raindrops

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  4. is that a tear I see, or is it just the dust?

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  5. I see him dusting a picture frame ....

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    1. Tiger, I see from your comment how the pronouns also make the mental image ambiguous. Thank you for sharing your vision!

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  6. very touching
    nicely done
    i like the ambiguity

    Cheers!
    JzB

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  7. Love the many layers in this.

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  8. Lovely, Maggie. I see him tracing names or figures in the actual dust on the dresser. A sense of loss. Very nice.

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  9. This brings many memories to mind...

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  10. After you've been together so long, the memories tend to blur, I'm sure.

    Sweeping the Sky

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  11. Awesome haiku Maggie, I like the way how you've used Jane's haiku to write this very personal(?) haiku.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Kristjaan. I used poetic license but hubby did just get a new dresser which I love and put framed photos on top. No dust tho ;-O

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