Monday, September 30, 2013

dVerse: Change Is Possible

dVerse: OpenLinkNight

never give up
i learned this week
sometimes compromise
comes at odd times
my husband who has asthma
and has fear of the fear
of an allergy
was steadfast about 
no furry critters

"even hypoallergenic dogs
have dander"
he reminds me
i've been furry petless
more than a decade
love my turtle and tortoise
but i miss the cuddles
and face licks
and being silly

realizing how much
i needed a furry companion
in my life
he began to open up
"i'll call my doctor"
"i'll see an allergist for something
in case i do sneeze or wheeze"
we did a doggie trial
with the breed we want
no swollen eyes or inhaler

yesterday i chose my puppy
from the now five-week-old litter
she won't come home for
another five weeks
she will get me moving again
a reason to move off the sofa
an issue i've had since 2007
one of my mind messages
not yet healed by neurofeedback

after committing to a life
without another cat or dog ever
i have more love for my husband
for allowing himself to open his mind...
accept change even if a bit uncomfortable
i'm in heaven
preparing for our new arrival

Photo by Yvonne Sadowy

Photo by Legin's Havanese (age 3 weeks)

CD: Eclipse

Carpe Diem #311 ~ Eclipse

light of my life
taking your last gasping breaths
eclipse of my heart

(I know the last line comes from a song, but I wanted to use it for this prompt.)



CD: Dazzling Dew

Carpe Diem #310 ~ Tsuyujimo (dew frost)

Photo Source

nature decorates
with dazzling crystal sparkles
morning dew frost 

Saturday, September 28, 2013

CD: Hidden

Carpe Diem #309 ~ Bashoo (Bananaplant)

Photo Source

anonymity ~
flowers of banana plant
hidden deep within

dVerse: Above This Orbit

dVerse: Poetics

Writing to the Art of Catrin Welz-Stein



Where The Starlight Begins by Catrin Welz-Stein 

high above this orbit
far from earthbound danger
i roam the safety of the stars
held within the moon's glow

high above this earth
my world when being here
was too much for my mind to bear
where time was nonexistent
and pain relegated to
a me of a distant plane

now one of this earth  
healed beyond the pain ~
still wishing to be among the stars
walking the constellations
hiding within the peaceful unknown


Friday, September 27, 2013

CD: Jazzbumpa's "Cold Raindrops Falling"

Carpe Diem's Tan Renga Challenge #16

This week's first stanza of our Tan Renga is a haiku written by Jazzbumpa of Retirement Pastels. The goal for the challenge is to complete the Tan Renga by writing the second stanza (7-7 syllables). 

Photo Source

green leaves turn orange
amid the colors we see
cold raindrops falling

abandoned nests rustling
in autumn's shivery breeze


CD: Salmon Fishing Not In Yemen

Carpe Diem ~ Salmon

salmon fishing upstream
willow spears ready

(The Ishikari River is one of the main rivers in Japan.)

Thursday, September 26, 2013

dVerse: Lords of the Rings

dVerse: Forbidden Topics

internet forces stand guard
to see which perps are targeting
the young and innocent.
they find that one
and put him in jail
for whatever the sentence is
for luring online

but for every perp online
thousands are connected
to the one
we see it each time
"a ring is brought down"
international pedophile ring
on the internet

guess what?
it's happening in real life
in large connected
sophisticated groups
where children
are born into families
of a pedophile
and become indoctrinated
into that world
before they can even
speak a word

the trauma to these children
causes their minds to shut down
create an amnesia barrier
to the abuse
so by the time they can speak
or go to day care
they have no idea they
have a reason
"to tell a safe adult"

and they are constantly
instilled with terror
if they do remember
and tell
and when the amnesia breaks
usually decades into life
it's too late for the
to do anything but
grieve and heal
if a therapist will treat them

pedophiles have meetings
with their prey
and create porn and make trades
and use their little assets
to hide drugs
and sometimes bombs
and exchange goods
and other nefarious deeds

this world is invisible
because it involves judges
and police
and attorney generals
not all...but enough
and coroners
and morticians
for the "accidents"

the children who most
need to be saved
are in their own homes
right now
this second
hoping to be rescued

CD: Crane At Work

Carpe Diem ~ Southard's "Widening Rings"

We are to write a new haiku inspired on this masterpiece by O. Mabson Southard in the same sense, tone and spirit:

a patter of rain ...
the lily-pad undulates
on widening rings

My inspired haiku:

Photo Source

crane at the ready
eyes his fish for dinner
frog hangs on for plunge

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

CD: Flying South

Carpe Diem #307 ~ Kari (Goose)

geese depart to south
who gets to lead the V first?
and who is wing man?


geese flying south
one of nature's mysteries
a sight to behold


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

CD: Colors of Autumn

Carpe Diem ~ Chrysanthemum

colors of autumn
in september's garden

dVerse: Fall from Grace

dVerse: OpenLinkNight ~ Fall

i fell for all the lies in life
i fell for all your truths
i didn't know that i'd been had
from the moment of my birth

i fell from grace
but not by choice
i stood as soon as i knew
and ran so fast the other way
your reach could not pursue

i fell into a world of love
and caring others' hands
and though it may have taken years
i finally can stand
without the strings
without the cues
without the secret codes
i fell into a cloud of fate
that has gently taken hold

and led me through the fire
to a place where i am now
i fell in love with my own life
far from the one you planned

i thank my lucky stars and guides
for freeing me from you
and letting me fall into a world
where innocence is true

Monday, September 23, 2013

Saturday, September 21, 2013

dVerse: Chaos Rules

dVerse: Poetics ~ Peace

i march to a different beat
knowing regardless of
desire for peace
warmongers are at work
setting up a house of cards
to fall exactly as planned
to create disorder and chaos
in the world
because the rich get richer
when we are at war

images of peace marches
in the sixties
police beating those shouting peace
with clubs
and tossing tear gas
and shoot to kill at Kent State

peace marches for civil rights
end in death and chaos for
the peaceful ones
because hatred trumps peace
as war trumps peace

and while the UN proclaims
a day of peace
they are guilty themselves
of engaging in the
drug and sex slave trade
as shown in The Whistle Blower
so don't dare try to stop
the madness 

peace is a picture 
of a dove and an olive branch
though it may as well be
a black helicopter
dropping sarin gas


CD: Totem of Change

Carpe Diem #303 ~ Tonbo (Dragonfly)

Image Source

dragonfly finds her
wherever life's path takes her
beautiful totem


life's transformations
dragonfly brings light and change
let your heart flutter


Thursday, September 19, 2013

dVerse: Monomind

dVerse: Form For All ~ Ballad

my life has been a riddle
few can understand
even professionals
disagree on my life's hand

is it real or am i faking
but who could fake such pain
and need years and years of therapy
just to maintain...sustain

from multiple to singleton
a journey long and grueling
is it worth the trek to reach the goal
or will the end be my undoing

so many questions along the way
who will i be when i am "done"
i've reached the goal of monomind
but the battle is still not won

the world is slightly different
from a single point of view
still some fears do linger
for which i haven't got a clue

but i'll trudge on until my death
to be a better me
embracing love, releasing fear
always yearning to feel free

CD: Windstorm

Carpe Diem ~ Dividing Wind

Photo Source

winds whipping through field
we find shelter in the hut
huddling 'til its gone


winds of avignon
chilling warm september days
mistral from the sea

The prompt reminded me of the mistral when we were in France. Gorgeous clear blue skies and temperatures in the 80s except for three days when the mistral came through and shut down the sidewalk cafes making the city almost a ghost town.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

CD: Anticipation

Carpe Diem ~ Waiting Evening

(The Evening Before the Harvest Moon)

looking to the sky
seeking some confirmation
of full harvest moon

dVerse: Toeing the Line

dVerse: Balance

i used to compete
on the balance beam
in high school
even though afraid of heights
one season, third place, done
too scary up there

no balance in relationships
too scary there too
thought i got it right on #3
until my amnesia leaked
and memories spilled on the floor
and he couldn't deal with it

had to find my bearings again
with years of therapy
to fix the leaking brain
and support from a man who cared
even if i was spilling out
secrets of the CIA

marriage #4 has to be forever
60 to forever is doable
he knows every flaw
i know who i am
i'm the one with the insane past
whose still afraid of heights
but i have my balance...
most days

Monday, September 16, 2013

CD: Scarecrow

Carpe Diem ~ Scarecrow

perched on the shoulder
crow surveys its surroundings
scarecrow oblivious

Tanka: Shadow Self

Tanka Poets On Site


my few memories 
a shadow of my life 
lived by others within 
we are all one now 
still a mere shadow

MWM: Santorini

Mornings With Mary

Photo Source

I stayed on the island of Santorini, Greece in 1975 for a week. Most cruise ships stop for a few hours. Since I was staying with a friend in Crete for a month, I took a ferry to this amazing remote island. In Greece, churches are found on every peak and so many peaks on this island created from volcanic explosions. Pristine blue Mediterranean sea surrounds. The streets are steps as much as pathways. It has a most holy feel to it. The island feels blessed. Shrines to Mary are hidden in walls and coves and cover the cemeteries. Each gravestone has a shrine on top including items from the person's life. Very moving to see. The island has an airport now. Maybe one day I can show my husband.

Photo from Pinterest

this remote island
abounds with her holiness
takes my breath away

Sunday, September 15, 2013

CD: Southard's "The Cry of a Loon"

Carpe Diem Special #57

Write an all new haiku inspired by the following one by Southard and try to write in the same tone, sense and spirit:

across the still lake
through up curls of morning mist -
the cry of a loon

My inspired haiku: 

in the still of night

through creeping fog of the swamp

the howl of a wolf


CD: Chestnut Days

Carpe Diem #298 ~ Kuri (Chestnuts)

sweet childhood memory
find chestnuts inside green pods
count piles for winner


shiny new chestnuts
trophies from a day of play
in a special bag

Saturday, September 14, 2013

dVerse: Need A Bigger Boat

dVerse: Stuck In My Head

when i see dead people
most people can't handle the truth
but i don't really see them
just once...
no one puts Baby in the corner
but that's my preferred spot
so no one can sneak up
behind me
my lack of sense of time
has my husband saying with me now
during the announcement of
a season finale
we giggle but it's still disconcerting

we are both movie buffs
so quotes are part of our
mainstay vocabulary
we always need a bigger boat
and nothing looks like Kansas
to me
not that i knew what it looked like ever
we'll hop on that bandwagon
when we get to it
like Ziva on NCIS i mix up the sayings
but he always knows what i mean
ya know what i mean? 
Houston, we always have a problem.


Thursday, September 12, 2013

CD: Flags of Autumn

Carpe Diem #296 ~ (Pampas Grass)

Photo Source

golden plumes arise
bend and sway in pampas grass
flags in autumn wind


dVerse: Jazz Blues

dVerse: Jazz Poetry

This is me just being me because the word "jazz" evokes such repulsion within me. I have a strong "flight" response to hearing it. My world...

i know some of the greats
billie holiday
miles davis
louis armstrong
i can endure some of the 
slowwwwww jazz
without the clarinet or saxophone
that send me
reeling off the brink
of sanity
to get to the OFF button
or run out the door
if it plays in a restaurant
though ipods and iphones
gave me a semblance
of coping

you know how
in some movies
prisoners are tortured
by having heavy metal
day and night
into their cells
with no relief?
that was done to me
when i was little
except with jazz

to associate jazz
with an activity
no child would choose
or want to endure
i couldn't run then
but i can run now

my blues
are very different
than the blues of jazz
nails on a blackboard
doesn't begin to describe
the feeling in my body
when that sound
that agonizing sound
meets my brain

maybe i'll be lucky
and neurofeedback
will resolve the jazz effect
maybe i could move
slowly and with fluidity
to the off button
or walk gracefully out
instead of
run for my life

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

dVerse: I Didn't Scream

dVerse: OpenLinkNight 113

I didn't scream when the mailman came
I always scream when the mailman
pushes the mail through the slot
Poor mailperson...they vary
I always scream

But I didn't scream earlier this week
and I didn't scream the next time either
It's only happened twice
but it's nice not to scream
A PTSD trigger resolved
with just a few neurofeedback sessions?
It's not supposed to work that fast.
But what if it did?
What else explains it?

I had two other triggers not happen
or be much less than normal
since my last treatment.
When I almost drop something
that's a BIG scream.
I have the memory for why
and no wonder it's big.
It was just an eek twice
(the most recent two times)

What is it like to go from
"complex PTSD"
to little or no PTSD?
It's quieter. Calmer.
I'm becoming a calmer me.
Who am I if not spastic?
More giggles...less startle response
I might like it.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

CD: O. Mabson Southard's "Releases the Moon"

Carpe Diem Special #56

We are to write a haiku in the same tone and spirit as this one written by O. Mabson Southard:

In the garden pool,
dark and still, a steppingstone 

releases the moon.

My inspired haiku:

a croaking bullfrog
in the moonlit garden pool
singing to no one


Saturday, September 7, 2013

CD: September Orchard

Carpe Diem ~ Peach

Photo Source

september orchard
ripened peaches fall to earth
grass scented with fruit

dVerse: Memory Gap Lane

dVerse: Remembering Or Not

i remember enough moments
in childhood
that it felt whole
stitched together seamlessly.
i have a happy memory
of my older sister
sitting on the floor with me
in our bedroom
teaching me how
to tie a shoe
and photos shown to me
enough times
to fill in blanks.
a single moment
became an entire event
or even a year of my life

i can't remember
the tv show i saw last week
or the movie
i just paid to watch
that we saw earlier this year
did i just take that pill or not?
did i just say this to you?
do you remember our wedding day?
i remember almost every moment
and vividly recall details
of italy and france.
our times
joy locked away safely
my special stash


Friday, September 6, 2013

FSF: A Beautiful Moment

Five Sentence Fiction ~ Beauty

She'd been lying in the hospital bed for five days, hair unwashed, tubes in her arms, fluids no one wants others to see in bags. Unsure of her fate, she wished to just close her eyes and not wake up; when she did awake, her husband was looking down on her lovingly and smiling, holding her hand.

"We won't be going on vacation this summer," she told him smiling, trying to put up a good front. He squeezed her hand and told her, "We'll have next summer." She never felt more loved or beautiful than in that moment.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

dVerse: Here But Not Here

dVerse: Riddles

Polyvore by Grace2244


i am but one body
with one mind
fragmented into many.
i have split consciousness
and am often unaware 

of what i do.
no one sees the real me.
i can hide for decades
clueless to myself and others.
the biggest riddle is
who am i when together as one?

amnesia assures no answer
for most of life 

and then i shatter 
like Humpty Dumpty 
waiting to put myself 
back together again.

 (This is what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder, more recently, Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have healed and am newly back together finding my way now as one mind.)

CD: Floating Memories

Carpe Diem ~ Lanterns

Photo Source

along the river
ancestors float by moonlight
glowing brightly

Tanka: PIgeonholed

Tanka Poets On Site


tucked in a corner
of my pigeonholed mind
a memory of you
keeping me from seeing
the ugly world outside

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

HH: Pink Tutus

Haiku Heights ~ Ballet

each little girl's dream
pink tutus and pirouettes
grace at center stage

CD: Dark Skies

Carpe Diem ~ First Storm

Photo Source

daylight becomes dark
as wind whips into fury ~
the first storm


branches lash against
window panes in darkened day ~
the first storm


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

CD: Milky Way

Carpe Diem #288 ~ Milky Way

galaxy of stars sweeps across the evening sky dripping with moonlight 


twinkling down the path
fairies on the milky way
beaming down on earth