jrb... The penalty for confrontation in my case was unbearable VERBAL lashing then silence. The one time I took a stand with my mother, July 1, 2000, I was never spoken to again and disinherited. I was 54 years old. The penalty in marriage was violence that I was told was my fault for making him angry. I understand why you and others would say to confront. I don't disagree, just know there are times, it just doesn't work. Peace, Siggi
I wrote about my childhood in an autocratic (?) military household where anything an adult said was to be obeyed. Not such a safe thing but how I was conditioned. Can be an advocate now and even taught women (and men) to be assertive in therapy...assertive vs. confrontation which is usually viewed as aggressive. But I understood what you meant.
acreativeharbor, please see my note to jrb...I understand why you say there is a need for confrontation, but I understand why some people are frightened to confront. Peace Siggi
Mark said what I wanted to say but didn't know how: I'm a veteran of those silent wars too!
An you, dear Maggie Grace have written so well a haiku that speaks volumes to me. I haven't been able to figure how to write about silence, never question, follow the rules living...but am learning. Thank you for honoring those of us who have been there.
Many children grew up in this environment...some worse than others. Your family taught you how to be "enforced". Am glad you are out of that. I've learned how to speak up/out as an adult but only when it feels safe. Hugs to you.
I'm a veteran of those silent wars too!
ReplyDeleteSometimes the battles fought without words can leave the biggest scars!
ReplyDeleteSilent wars nibble at the seams before exploding. Nicely Maggie!
ReplyDeleteHank
This says so much. Nicely done.
ReplyDeletePerhaps in both cases confrontation is needed?
ReplyDeletejrb...
DeleteThe penalty for confrontation in my case was unbearable VERBAL lashing then silence. The one time I took a stand with my mother, July 1, 2000, I was never spoken to again and disinherited. I was 54 years old.
The penalty in marriage was violence that I was told was my fault for making him angry.
I understand why you and others would say to confront. I don't disagree, just know there are times, it just doesn't work.
Peace,
Siggi
I wrote about my childhood in an autocratic (?) military household where anything an adult said was to be obeyed. Not such a safe thing but how I was conditioned. Can be an advocate now and even taught women (and men) to be assertive in therapy...assertive vs. confrontation which is usually viewed as aggressive. But I understood what you meant.
Deletesilent wars not good ~ need for confrontation ~ well penned haiku ~ thanks ^_^
ReplyDeleteacreativeharbor,
Deleteplease see my note to jrb...I understand why you say there is a need for confrontation, but I understand why some people are frightened to confront.
Peace
Siggi
Mark said what I wanted to say but didn't know how:
ReplyDeleteI'm a veteran of those silent wars too!
An you, dear Maggie Grace have written so well
a haiku that speaks volumes to me. I haven't been
able to figure how to write about silence, never question,
follow the rules living...but am learning.
Thank you for honoring those of us who have been there.
Peace and love
Siggi
Many children grew up in this environment...some worse than others. Your family taught you how to be "enforced". Am glad you are out of that. I've learned how to speak up/out as an adult but only when it feels safe. Hugs to you.
Delete