Not Pretty

100 Words #329 - Pretty

Pretty is not me 
I was the smart one
the little one with big boobs
as early as pre-teen


I thought being nominated
to the Homecoming Court
was a joke
but it wasn't
I still don't understand
how that happened


My body fell apart at age 55
right after my own mini-“extreme”-makeover
My husband loves me warts and all
I know I’m pretty in his eyes
even after I had my breasts turned into
ballerina boobs


I don’t feel pretty
and it doesn’t even matter any more
No make up
comfy not trendy
I’ll be who I damn well please

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Mystic Cards

Carpe Diem #184, Tarot 

tarot of europe

mystic cards mark the pathway

to find one's spirit

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Always Believe

A to Z

Always believe cherished dreams
even feeling grumpy
Hope is just knotted love
making nudges outward
pursuing quintessential release
Some think unknown visions
wax xerophytic...
yield Zen 
  

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Way of the Raven

Nahaiwrimo (Mountain)

This is the last prompt for April and my last haiku for Nahaiwrimo, at least for now. Am taking a break.


healing vision quest
to red rock desert mountains
Raven leads the way

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Close Encounter (2)

Trifecta: Week Seventy-Five

Use the word DOOR and the following definition as the prompt: a means of access or participation : opportunity . Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.

Relieved to be back in familiar surroundings, Libby thought of showering and kicking back for the evening. As she felt the water flowing through her hair down her body, her mind returned to the vision she had of the vanishing chairs while jogging. In her mind, though, she saw the chairs disappear one at a time until only one remained. The internal black and white image suddenly changed to color with a beautiful field of flowers atop a hill where the sole chair sat.


Libby had been reading about instinct, "gut feelings", raising one's consciousness, inner wisdom and other related topics wanting to better develop her sense of awareness. She wondered if the illusion of chairs in the field while jogging was a clue to this internal vision. She finished showering, put on her comfy jammies, grabbed a cup of tea, and flopped down sideways on her armchair.  She cherished the silence after jogging. Drinking her tea had a sacred quality to it. Quiet was appropriate. In between sips she closed her eyes returning to the beautiful field in her mind, the chair seeming to beckon her.


Though it made her question her reality, she next saw a male figure in a tuxedo in the distance behind the chair urging her to “come in”. Libby was familiar with guided imagery so imagining places in her mind was not a new experience. Having it be interactive was definitely a new experience. Could the tuxedo-ed figure be the manifestation of her inner wisdom?  If she allowed herself to run through the field to the chair, would she be opening a door to her subconscious?



Words: 272

(The complete story of Libby to date can be found here.)

Black & White

Haiku Heights (Zebra Crossing)

zebra black and white
beatles cross for abbey road
safety in the herd

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Beekeeping Monks

Carpe Diem #183 (Honey)

monks gather beeswax
candles from honeycombs
behind monastery

nectar of the gods
nourishment for humanity
tiny ancient bee 

Franciscan Monk Monastery Beehive

Haiku Journey

birth not an option 
life only an option feared 
until freedom calls

born into evil hands 
deeds against will heart and soul
innocent monster

innocent monster 
thought herself beyond evil 
grotesque image 
seen in mirror 
her distorted view

for want of a life 
i endure the pain of knowing 
my former existence 
feeling a kind of ending
i may yet know living

no options before 
now have choice of many roads 
only one is mine 

ancient wisdom comes
as cross ties sending us 
on an uneven path 
to destinies of 
heart and soul 

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Railways of France

Nahaiwrimo (Train)

Avignon to Lyon
Marseille to Cassis and back
mastering the rails

A Divided Self Speaks

I know her as Raven...She is speaking to me

we share a heart and soul
we come from the same seed
spawned into evil

you were the one who never knew
i knew all
we were forever connected
in that darkness

we have always loved each other
as twins do
internal twins
always feeling each others presence
but not being able to touch or speak
until the amnesia created a portal

we've been healing together
for 16 years
as long as our spirits are entwined
you will never be free from the misery
and i will never be set free from the body

it is because you love me
you are willing to let me go
but we will still be united through
our cosmic dust
the astral plane
our telepathy

my release will be your release
the canyon awaits us both
say goodbye to me by
floating the black feather into the canyon
you will feel me leave
setting you free is my love for you

they made it so we could never truly be one
but i know how to part ways and
keep the invisible thread between us
you have worked hard to set us free
all who have healed have waited
not to feel the burden of our 
unfathomable grief and terror

when i leave  
the blackness that we were made to believe 
was our soul
will be carried by the vortexes
and disappear where it can
harm no other
it will leave me because i carry it
which is why i must leave the body

i will separate from the soul
that was never us
and take the spirit that is mine
and part of the one we share
only goodness will bind us together

my terror now leaks through to you
i hope you will let go as i leave
and not try to hold on
or you will retain some of the darkness
and there will be no way for it to leave

i will carry both of us to freedom
think of me soaring in the canyons
and nesting on Native American soil
my spirit will never die 
the cosmos will know what we endured
and what we had to sacrifice

breathe out when you feel me leave
exhale the sludge of our life into the canyon
your breath will be my wings

i know this holds some sadness for you
it was never our choice to have this life
i do know your love is letting me go
one soul divided is still one soul
and so we will remain
twins divided but together

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Sedona Willow

Carpe Diem Special #34
Chèvrefeuille's 'under the willow' 

amidst the cacti
a willow tree with cool shade
only a mirage

breeze of the vortex
seeking solace for myself
for spirit release

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Motherly Wings

Haiku Heights (Youngling)

younglings swim behind
close to motherly wings
sensing her safety

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Spring Garden

The Sunday Whirl: Wordle 106

Write a poem or prose using the following words:

winter's brittle twigs

replaced with thin flexible branches

new growth burgeoning from its marrow

leaves nearly transparent

will soon bring forth roses

rich in color and scent

clearing debris gathered since last summer

grubs march quickly as rocks are unearthed

a harrowing experience i guess

for them to be exposed

either to a rare ray of sunshine

or the sight of a human in their midst

i saw a robin borrow string

perhaps a nest nearby 

last year an oath to provide birdhouses

i peek in each to check

but find proof of life in the wisteria vine

my garden, my sanctuary

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Liquid Conversation

One Single Impression (Liquid)

I'm so sad.
I've never been able to cry.  
Why is that?
As a child crying was forbidden. 
I've seen others cry. 
Some are silent hiding their faces in their hands. 
Others weep loudly and sob.

What are you thinking 
when you see others weep openly? 
I'm afraid for them. 
But I also wish I could feel that release.  
It is okay to cry. 
It's safe to cry now. 
Safe. No, it really hadn't been safe before. 

But he was gone. 
He could no longer hurt her. 
Yes, it was safe finally. 
The word safe rolled around in her mind 
echoing down into the chambers of her heart 
and throughout the rest of her being. 

She felt the liquid roll down her cheek 
and watched as it landed on her hand. 
She touched it with her fingertips. 
The world did not shatter. 

 

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Piggy Delight

Nahaiwrimo 

a belly rub for 

pure nirvana and grunts of glee

misunderstood pig

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Time To Fly

Haiku Heights (Poet's Choice)

yearning to be free
the search within nearing end
outstretched wings await

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Life At The End Of The Tunnel

Carpe Diem #182 (Awakening)

essential is the 
erosion of amnesia
for awakening

fully awakened
near end of grueling healing
perhaps a life awaits

Photo Credit

 

  

On Raven's Wings

Nahaiwrimo

(Roots)

no roots to take ground
seek safety floating above
aerial roots await


(Totem)

raven seeks dark truth
hidden deep within my mind
wisdom for healing

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Not A Toy...But Adorable

Save The Frogs Day

Today is Save The Frogs Day. Our mission is to write a poem to educate about this fascinating amphibian. I chose to write about the Namaqua Rain Frog.

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 Namaqua Rain Frog

how fearsome he seems

Yet only two inches in length

he thinks he is mean

Home is South Africa

He burrows in sand

Coming above ground

after rains entrench land

Gobbling up insects who scurry in rain

is how he survives in diminishing domain

If threatened or frightened

he puffs up twice his size

and squeals out a roar

too cute to deny

 For a video to hear his adorable "ferocious" squeak, please see the video here.

Empty to Heal

a sojourn for healing 
next month i set course 
purging my past 
comes now in my words 
pain and anger spew out
empty to fill with joy

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She Made Me Laugh

Carpe Diem #181 (Storyteller)

my maternal grandmother

wove lovely stories for us

when i had family

when i had family

grandma always made me laugh

she died after me

she died after me

after i was declared dead

i miss her the most

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Untitled

Haiku Heights (Xerox)

children of the corn

xerox copies beneath facades

succumb to evil on cue

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Photo coloring modified by me. I know this might be intense but it's what I'm "leaking" at the moment.  No need to fully comprehend.

Totem: Raven

Fireblossom Friday: Not Feeling Like Yourself

today I awaken not feeling caged
but wanting to stretch my wings
a yearning to soar like a raven
through the desert canyons
sun warming me while breezes 
keep me aloft

i want to hold onto this newness
fulfill my needs from this new perspective
perhaps risk having new dreams
how to fly when merely human
i must learn to use this new mind
and soar in new ways

Polyvore by grace2244

Close Encounter

Trifextra: Week Sixty-Five

Your challenge this weekend is to give us 33 words about anything you want.  Your piece must include at least one hyphenated compound modifier. 

I chose to continue my 150-word story and photo prompt from here for this Trifextra.


While Libby's short-lived encounter with the vanishing chairs was chilling, she continued her jog trying to focus on things not out of the ordinary. That field of empty chairs was just too unnerving.

(Libby's evolving story continues here.)

Appearances

Haiku Heights (Waterfall)

cascading down
an eternity to understand
in the droplets

rainbows in the mist
appearance of hope to come
thunder calls my name

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Au Chocolat

Carpe Diem #180 (Chocolate)

divine chocolate
with my espresso each day
exquisite jump start

chocolate wafts by
strolling through Hershey
street lights like Kisses

my achilles heel
decadent layers of chocolate
i give in

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Closet Secrets

Five-Sentence Fiction (Shadows)

When she heard her mother arguing with the man downstairs, Emma ran into the closet where she often hid from ugliness or
sometimes just went to play finding comfort in the darkness.

She had found a little door at the bottom of the nook behind the suitcases that she could wriggle open and fit inside, pulling the "door" back on to completely conceal her whereabouts.

After hearing the gunshots, Emma quickly found her way into her cubbyhole, hugged her knees rocking back and forth and cried silently with tears running down her cheeks.

Hours later, when the police had almost given up on finding her, a female police officer once again opened the closet door speaking softly and reassuring Emma it was safe to come out.

Hearing the kindness in the voice, and being so scared and hungry and longing for her favorite doll, she carefully began to push on the tiny door until she first saw the shadowy shoes of the lady with the nice voice, then continued until she found herself being lifted into the arms of safety. 

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