Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Mind Shadows (3)

Trifecta: Week Seventy-Four


[All segments to date of Mind Shadows can be found here.]


Use the definition of ecstasy (TRANCE; especially : a mystic or prophetic trance) as a prompt writing between 33 and 333 words.



Photo Source


Swirling gracefully in mid-air, spellbinding music and movements, pure ecstasy as a Sufi reaching enlightment...then she turned around waking MacKenzie with a start. It had felt like a peaceful dream until the veiled face started to be revealed.

Somewhere in a dusty trunk resided family photos and personal mementos that her mother had saved for when she became an adult. Not being able to return to sleep, she located the trunk. Walking down memory lane was interesting: photos of relatives she adored who were no longer alive, graduation announcements, stacks of cards she had sent her parents as a child. She saw the sheets of paper neatly typed with a manual ink-clogged typewriter. Long ago forgotten, she clutched at her throat while reading, somewhat taken aback. Each poem from her eight-year-old mind was about a grave. Staring at her words, she wondered why no teacher thought the subject matter odd and very dark for such a young child.

She thought of her parents. She adored her mother but had always been frightened of her father’s unpredictable anger. Growing up trying to avoid him wasn’t always easy. She thought for a moment of him being in that graveyard of her mind. Even with his sinister looks, she couldn’t imagine him being part of something so awful. Then she remembered her nanny. Both her parents traveled quite frequently, leaving her in the sole care of Sofia. Between birth and beginning kindergarten, Sofia was, for the most part, her primary caretaker. MacKenzie barely remembered her but stared at a photo of Sofia holding her as a young toddler. No clues there; just a few benign momentary memories and the stories relayed to her by her mother.

She kept the poetry and photo of Sofia to show Georgia at her next therapy appointment.

Words: 300


 

16 comments:

  1. That veiled face is so intriguing! And I could lose myself for hours looking at the contents of an old dusty trunk!

    I love the way the suspense is building here in this wonderful story, and I can't wait until the next installment!

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    1. Thank you, Valerie! The prompts really add a wonderful twist in how this story is developing. Glad it worked out to your liking!

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  2. It's sounding good, Maggie. I am waiting to see what Georgia will think of the find. My bet is that MacKenzie will unravel the main facts but I am guessing there will be suspence even after the BIG revelation. And BIG problems before that time.
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    1. BTW, Mind Shadows (2) needs the "Trifecta" label or else it gets left out in the reading. (You can delete this comment, thanks.)
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    2. Thank you for your feedback on this segment, Jim! Mind Shadows (2) was actually a prompt from Writing At The Merge. Haven't figured out how to keep a flowing story unless I put it one place as an unfinished work. Any suggestions?

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  3. Self discovery is such a long process!
    Love the opening paragraph, and the play on veil and revealed is great, too.

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  4. I'm really captivated by this. It is funny how memory is so unreiable. Did I remember that right? Did it really happen that way? So many questions!

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  5. Memories are tricky. I have some memories that I wonder if they were real or products of an over-active imagination. I also wonder what Georgia will make of it.

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  6. Thank you all for reading and commenting...and wondering. Trauma memories surfacing are tricky. Will be able to use that to my advantage I hope.

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  7. I love this journey, and taking with with the protagonist. And any casual reference to the Sufi is fine by me :D

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  8. Captivating and real,.. you are so talented as a writer.

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    1. Wow. Thanks, Björn! Have only ever written fiction once and it turned out to be veiled non-fiction (unknown to me at the time). So am really trying to lean fully into fiction with a few realistic details.

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  9. Going over old photos can be a jolt sometimes. I hope she can find some answers in them!

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  10. Great character development! The ending line was so perfect.

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  11. Memory is such a powerful, tricky thing--and a great way to inspire good writing. Nice job with the prompt.

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    1. Thank you so much for visiting and for commenting!

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