Tuesday, October 8, 2013

dVerse: Unmoved

dVerse: OpenLinkNight



halloween
a time of ghouls and
skeletons falling out of the closet
on top of me
just decorations in a store
had me running out
in a state of panic
no stores from time of
halloween stuff till
after christmas

lit carved pumpkins
caused screams and tears
could not bear children in costumes
hid behind darkened house
on trick or treat night
to not see the masks

something has changed
since neurofeedback began
a photo of a lit jack-o-lantern
left me unmoved
i stared in awe
noticing my lack of reaction

last week i drove by a pumpkin stand
and wanted to get a small one
just to display
somewhere
but it was on the other side of the road
in heavy traffic
i shared that thought with my brian
who remarked
"that was different"

grandbaby visit two weeks ago
on top of her bag
a children's book about halloween
thick cardboard pages
for a child who can barely talk
"it's a scary book" i tell brian
he says "there was a time
you wouldn't have dared
pick the book up"

trauma resolving
it's good
it's different
a me evolving with
less fear
more capacity
for other emotions
good ones
ones to love a puppy



16 comments:

  1. Doesn't matter how simple or complex our fear may be, it is still real. It's good that time seems to have finally quelled yours, to open that space to better possibilities! Nicely captured.

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  2. evolution of thoughts are good, especially when it is positive growth and overcoming fears..thank you for sharing

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  3. I can well understand your wanting to stay out of stores for that entire period of time. People get too buggy. >KB

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  4. I'm so glad... that's good news! Happy Halloween.

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  5. smiles...pretty cool to see the positive changes in your life eh? this must be really working for you...that is awesome....and i hope you do get a little pumpkin....that would be like a cool totem just for a bit to remind you of the breakthru

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  6. Always good when trauma resolves and you are right--so much more room for the other emotions!

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  7. It is such an awesome feeling when you can get past a fear. I hope you get your pumpkin (and your puppy.)

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  8. Fear. When a child can embrace and master a certain amount of fear (with the help of caring adults), Halloween can be a lot of fun. It's spooky but won't keep the kid up nights. Now, my fear was every night, but totally different Boogy Man... you know. Love the "skeletons falling on top of me," well, didn't LOVE it, but I had a flash of poor Karen Allen in the first Indiana Jones movie, remember?

    This was a journey. And I hate plug-in pumpkins. I don't care if they are safer, the candle gives the pumpkin real life! Thanks, Amy

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  9. Very very happy, Maggie. :-) did you get the little pumpkin?

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    1. Tomorrow am going for neurofeedback and the pumpkiin stand was just before that office and on my side of the road. As long as I'm not running late, I will :))

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  10. nice... it's cool to see when breatkthrough happens, when things that bothered you for years are suddenly no longer scary... really very cool maggie..

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  11. Evolving emotions... is really good. Letting go some part of that fear, one feels relieved to a certain extent.
    Nicely written.
    -HA

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  12. AH so glad you can have a pumpkin and soon a puppy too.. can you hear me cheer for you..

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    Replies
    1. Yes! You have been so encouraging and supportive, Bjorn. Thank you!

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  13. Well good to know Maggie Grace ~ I'm cheering for you ~ Hope everything turns out for the best, smiles ~

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  14. This is a new place for you, and it is so exciting! So honoured to be sharing this journey with you. Hugs and many smiles! Enjoy the book and paint a smiley face on a wee pumpkin. :-)

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