dVerse: Unmoved

dVerse: OpenLinkNight

halloween
a time of ghouls and
skeletons falling out of the closet
on top of me
just decorations in a store
had me running out
in a state of panic
no stores from time of
halloween stuff till
after christmas

lit carved pumpkins
caused screams and tears
could not bear children in costumes
hid behind darkened house
on trick or treat night
to not see the masks

something has changed
since neurofeedback began
a photo of a lit jack-o-lantern
left me unmoved
i stared in awe
noticing my lack of reaction

last week i drove by a pumpkin stand
and wanted to get a small one
just to display
somewhere
but it was on the other side of the road
in heavy traffic
i shared that thought with my brian
who remarked
"that was different"

grandbaby visit two weeks ago
on top of her bag
a children's book about halloween
thick cardboard pages
for a child who can barely talk
"it's a scary book" i tell brian
he says "there was a time
you wouldn't have dared
pick the book up"

trauma resolving
it's good
it's different
a me evolving with
less fear
more capacity
for other emotions
good ones
ones to love a puppy