dVerse: OpenLinkNight
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the truth of me
insanity to most
validation comes
cuts
sharp as a razor
flash of pain and insight
no proof of me
but what i know
my truths and known truths
match like puzzle pieces
so many government programs
other survivors have similar pasts
but i have some unique to all
what isn't unique is the one message
that began in my collages of healing
and ended with an astounding answer
regarding my creation
not in broad strokes
but great specificity
which is so rare with recovering memory
prisoner without bars
with amnesia in tact
fear of death after knowing
each
tiny
detail
secrets were joined
with death messages
so many i'm almost immune
wondering if this new answer
will be a step too far
or if enough know out there
to protect me
if my dna history
goes with my reality
it's not enough to prove
but enough for me to know
the accuracy of my past
my purpose for being
horrid purpose that it was
i would finally know
with certainty for my mind
regardless of how it is
perceived by others
those without access to inner wisdom
cannot fathom the information
that one can know from the universe
my protector told me from the beginning
"I know everything."
he worked in amazing ways
i have no doubts of my "heritage"
the gift of dna analysis
fell into my lap
i shied away from ordering a dna test
yet anything i was meant to know has
"landed in my lap"
hoping my life won't be the trade
for this knowledge
not the fear i used to have
but an unsettling hint of anxiety
answer by valentine's day
the heart of my being
i am glad you are on a good path...
ReplyDeletei hope that the further knowledge of what you went through
does not hinder that in any way...
the manipulation is horrible....
see you tomorrow...smiles.
Yes, I got excited and jumped the gun. Had started this yesterday. So many mixed feelings and wanted to express them. Thank you, as always, for reading.
DeleteMaggie, I know you have written bits and pieces of your struggles. I think the one thing through it all (for any of us) is that we are here now for a purpose.
ReplyDeleteHoping for a sun filled 2014 for you!
Sounds like you've gained fresh insight into your own mind/personality...love the truth that you've been created with "great specificity" and you have a unique DNA "heritage"...may this knowledge help carry you forward!
ReplyDeleteEvery time I read your writing, I feel you moving more deeply into your truth and into your healing. Hope this year provides you both
ReplyDeleteKnowledge can be useful while at the same time not sometimes, sounds like you are on your way
ReplyDeleteYou have moved so far.. moving right into the core of what's important..It's a privilege to know you Maggie.
ReplyDeleteI can hear your pain...whatever the source you know that there is nothing better than to write or talk about it and we love to listen here.
ReplyDeleteWhat a journey you're on!
ReplyDeletethe heart is such a fragile thing
ReplyDelete