dVerse: OpenLinkNight
click
is a more terrifying sound
of a gun
than the actual firing of it
click
is the sound at my temple
as i stood so many times
given orders
the fear beyond my own life
always including mother
sisters or pets
destruction of a favorite toy
or relative
whatever i cared about
was fair game
click
an empty chamber
i often wish
had been filled
so young to know such fear
standing at the edge
of the readied grave
my body tossed in
dirt shoveled on
to drive home a point
or a message
they ruled me
ruled the world
i once remember
asking my "father" about
the rearview mirror
"what is the 'night' button for?"
"don't ever touch that!"
he warns menacingly
"it makes the sun go down
and it would destroy the world"
i was 10 years old
i never touched the mirror
until my third car
click
the angle of the mirror changes
the world didn't end
but the lies remained
the foundation of my life
for far too many years
fug....shivers....the hard click....the mixed emotions of wishing there was a bullet in there and the fear there was oy...scary stuff...
ReplyDeleteglad you decided to use this one...smiles.
Deletetears... the fear and the lies... my dad was drinking, so i can relate to some of the things you mention... it's a tough way but hey...you're on the path of healing....smiles
ReplyDeleteThis is your best poem I ever read.. I got shivers down my spine from that click... like torture.... keep looking in the rear mirror...
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you, Bjorn! Intense memories. I still recall the fear the day in the car I asked about the button. Made me fear anyone else touching it as well.
Deleteterrifying... makes one want to pick up the child and run to a safe place where things like that can never happen! powerful write!
ReplyDeleteOh my, that's terrifying.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the 'click' is quite a frightening sound. Interesting about the rear view mirror. I am glad that you overcame the fear of the 'night' button with time; but it really is hard to think about being deceived about something like that.
ReplyDeleteTears...sad and powerful. An intense write.
ReplyDeleteThe use of the word "click" is a clever device. It works in this piece. I loved encountering it while reading your poem. It added a special kind of spice to the poem.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting perspective Maggie Grace. >KB
ReplyDeleteThe click engages, the story is terrifying - reminds me of summary executions... a powerful piece.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, absolutely, the click and the suspense, the fear of what might happen - so much more powerful than the actual shot. A poem which sent chills down my spine. Very well done.
ReplyDelete(I still haven't mastered the night vision thingy.)
This is intense, powerful and shows such healing. Such courage. You made it through that. You discovered the lay of the lies. Your courage inspires me. Well done! This poem is so worth sharing, powerful words my friend.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are finally nurturing yourself, letting go of some of the anger and pain...we believe what our fathers tell us, even if they are wrong, false, deceitful...it takes a long time to work that all out...my heart goes out to you...
ReplyDeleteThis is frightening, chilling and sad. What pain can be inflicted by cruelty and ignorance. Luckily, you are resilient and have welcomed healing. Powerful write.
ReplyDeleteOh Maggie-what a scary and unsafe world you lived in. I relate to this poem as I grew up with alcoholic parents. You never knew what was gonna happen next. Your use of the word 'Click' was powerful and brought up terrifying images. Thanks for sharing this with dVerse. You are showing others that their not alone. So many children live a life of fear.
ReplyDelete