Friday, December 13, 2013

dVerse: Mother Tongue

dVerse: Meeting the Bar

i have no mother tongue
i'm not sure my mother was my bio mother
we moved frequently
so i have no particular dialect
i know words from several languages
and subconsciously spoke several

my life would be an unbelievable
movie of the week
raised by post war Nazis
brought into the US
by our own govt
except i knew them in Germany
before I could speak
and knew German commands
simultaneously with English

fear was my language
my first poetry
from second grade
speaks of death and graves
likely a red flag in today's society
but had that been my red flag
it would have meant
fear of death if i ever wrote again
so thank goodness no one noticed

poetry and images to accompany it
were my escape
from my unknown split selves
and became insight into my life
when i awoke from amnesia
in my forties
my words, my feelings on paper
that was my only reality
even if i didn't quite get the reality

mid forties to sixty was healing
sixty-one mostly healed
without all memory
same words coming out
in different ways
but still they come
new words like "puppy"
add new life
create new memories

grateful for a place to share 
where my past no longer matters
but the words that go with it 
are accepted without judgment
i'm an aberration
finding my way late in life
with new love and new family
finally embracing this holiday
we know as Christmas
my first holiday detached
from the fear it once meant

my first season of enjoying
holiday movies and
Christmas specials
and decorations
wishing all the dVerse family
a holiday of peace and
treasured memories



  1. do have a pretty amazing story...and i hope that you write it all out---what you know---one day, and i am glad this can be a happy season for you...and that you faced halloween this year as well...

    1. Thank you, Brian. Yes, the gift of Christmas is magical. To just enjoy it for however involved we wish to be. Reclamation of my life ♥

  2. Great response to the prompt, making it real by reading it back from your own experience. What is home & hearth without homelessness and wandering to offer contrast & contour? Few, I think, benefit from a solid sense of place in America, where everyone is from elsewhere and always on the move. I loved how the speaker in the poem makes peace with history and is able to find, in the moment, momentary blessings which are home enough ... A happy decision, I think. Best to you Maggie.

  3. a poem of hope... thanks for sharing

  4. Oh the story you bring out.. the pieces, the bits.. I'm so glad you're finding your way to healing and joy... and a puppy... and many warm Christmas greetings from Sweden..

    1. Thank you, Bjorn. You have been such a positive and happy part of my journey this year. What you say always means a lot to me.

  5. How brave is this poem! How hard this world must have been to sort out. I saw those children in the newsreels, the debris of WWII, I read Dog Years and the Tin Drum, Gunther Grass had a fantasy life to sustain him, to carry him through the aftermath of that horror. In school we found out a little about what was happening in Europe with children and with refugees but to have lived it, I can't even imagine.

    And yet we are likely not too much different in age. We would have watched the earth change, heard and seen the news on radio and tv, seen some of the same films, trod some of the same paths and yet you are only now finding peace..a peace that you are worthy of. I hope you find joy as well, that the nightmares and abandonment no longer persecutes you, and a spirit of goodness stays with you for the rest of time. Your piece affected me deeply.

    1. I can see how this impacted you and you say such beautiful words to me. Thank you very much.

  6. I'm glad you're here, and I look forward to more poems that tell your story

  7. A long way! you have come and the further you move wish you peace and happiness. smiles....

  8. Maggie Grace, you are one brave soul and you have my admiration.

  9. a moving story... and so glad about the healing and how things changed in a good way and that you can embrace and enjoy christmas... love your honesty and it's a good therapy for sure to bring those emotions to paper..

  10. I like this journey. Waking from amnesia at forty, then finally keeping direction to walk the road forward. Thank you for sharing this.