Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Christmas Eve 2013

home alone by choice
to allow sadness and vulnerability
to surface as it must
realize it is the first time
i have been feeling good until last night
when the trauma-related feelings hit
but the sadness is not consuming me

it is not me down in the pit
it is me realizing the sadness
is another emotion
and it doesn't need to be alone
it has support from stronger feelings
it doesn't own me any longer

the guilt of staying home seems odd
since great sadness, especially tonight,
usually had me feeling nothing else
except anxiety
now i can hold all emotions
and just notice, acknowledge
let them co-exist
likely what most know as normal

i am truly one


  1. nice...all emotion is important, even sadness,
    we can appreciate them...and too we also need to mourn
    the past a bit in order to move through it...

  2. recognizing one's feelings without their taking over one's being is truly amazing! I speak as one who once lived in a cold dark pit, feeling alone (in a home of 7) and unloved. may the love of our Lord fill you up this Christmas season.

    1. Thank you, Nonnie...for reading...for understanding. Hoping you are no longer in that pit.