aloha Maggie - i like what you are going after in your ku. i also like your title, which to me, could be the first line of the ku too (i too often find that my post titles, once i do the post might have been preferable to a line in my ku—ha—the way life works sometimes). aloha.
You are right. That first line would have been better if it were the title. But I started my SERENE haiku with Japanese maple stands sentinel. Guess it inspired me. Thanks for this and other comments!
i think it's great how you wrote about the belief that they could sense earthquakes ^^great haiku
ReplyDeleteThank you! It was written as a fact...at least the true breed of Japanese pheasant.
Deletealoha Maggie - i like what you are going after in your ku. i also like your title, which to me, could be the first line of the ku too (i too often find that my post titles, once i do the post might have been preferable to a line in my ku—ha—the way life works sometimes). aloha.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. That first line would have been better if it were the title. But I started my SERENE haiku with Japanese maple stands sentinel. Guess it inspired me. Thanks for this and other comments!
Delete