Tuesday, February 4, 2014

dVerse: Death Defying


dVerse: OpenLinkNight




Polyvore by Grace Beam


his death three years ago
i should be clicking my heels
why the dark thoughts and feelings?

back to the drawing board
literally
process feelings with images
death with someone peeking through

after completing the art
i realize it is my internalized mother part
looking at me

diluted programming
still notice the message to join "him"
since integrating
i don't believe any former part
can act alone
but the feeling sucks

once again my desire
to celebrate his passing
is quashed by the brainwashing
of my past

proof the haunting continues
trying not to give it merit
yet must acknowledge
the grief my mother part
is feeling deeply

bonded to the abuser
stockholm syndrome
lives on after death
reaching me from his hell






12 comments:

  1. your honesty is profound. grief. so intense. thank you

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  2. its hard the mix of emotions...
    the loss of any life is hard, but in light of what they did to us we can feel relief as well...and trying to process all those feelings...i commend your honesty as well...as i think on some level we all can understand this...

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  3. the mother part
    yes, this
    pain simmers
    praying for release

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  4. Written by a brave, tender soul...may you find Grace, Maggie.

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  5. Brave, honest, eloquent writing - on edge, indeed! Well done.

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  6. A Stockholm syndrome.. yes so interesting.. the bonding to the abuser... I still recall the bank-robbery from which it was named... I can understand that anniversaries serve as a harsh reminder..

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  7. courageous offering…

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  8. Poignant!Yes,the bonding -rather the habit and the pre-conditioning-is a chain that may be difficult to break!One feels really sorry for her-hopefully one day she will find the courage to cross that barrier and rejoice in her new found freedom and that no dead memory will dare to haunt her!Excellent writing!

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  9. Quiet, but wrenching, your natural anguish and "bond/bondage"--I can only imagine what you bravely write in your poem. I know that I admire you very much.

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  10. Me again-- never know what ID will pop up. JIC you don't recognize "alamodame"-- I'm Silly_GooseTess @TX_Tess

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    Replies
    1. Tess...so nice of you to visit me here ♥ Thank you.

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