Saturday, November 9, 2013

dVerse: Late Life Childhood

dVerse: Poetics ~ Childhood Toys & Games

two sisters but mostly alone
my favorite toy was a stuffed bear
christmas present when i was 3
living in germany
military father
Steiff...the cadillac of stuffies
age 5 near Boston
dolls that could walk
mom took me to pick one out
but i never played with it
always the bear
upset mother
i spent hours outside
on the swings...alone
or played hopscotch...solo
hour after hour
as older child
father taught me strategy games
chess, bridge, cribbage
angry if i didn't do it right
games not fun
until i was a therapist
having learned play therapy
working with children
found my favorite books
and kept them in my office
began to have dolls
collectible So Truly Real
anatomically correct
at first in the office
then a few dolls at home
an act of self nurturing
since i had other parts of me
healed to become therapist
but healing continued
in therapeutic ways
as i worked with others
my toys are new and treasured
a moses basket filled with stuffed animals
from when i was healing
and parts identified with them
now that i'm whole
they are my tribute to who
once was me

Photo by Grace Beam


  1. I had a teddy bear as well.. it's still with me.. and I liked to play alone... which is weird because as an adult I hate to be alone... the progression is really nice..

  2. each of our kids got a steiff bear from an aunt and uncle when they were born.. my son though fell in love with a no name penguin & even when he was a teen, still had it in his bed... when he moved out this summer, he took the penguin with him...smiles... ugh it made me sad that your dad got angry when you didn't do the games should be fun and no stress... glad that you found healing...

  3. I have some stuffed animals I got when I was an adult as fact, I have a wonderful collection. Smiles. My mother gave me a walking doll once as well. This doll had a hard body, not a soft one, and it could wear human baby sized clothes....but I never really liked this one as much as my soft cuddly dolls that I could warm up to!! I enjoyed your poem. I do think there is comfort in toys/dolls/stuffed animals no matter what the age!

  4. My niece has a Steiff teddy bear and I still have my own teddy bear. There is still comfort in stuffed toys, whatever your age I think.

  5. used to do some play therapy with some of my clients...the teddy bear though is the tried and true toy...the one that brings comfort and gives hugs...i told ral that i still had mine from being a kid...makes me a bit sad but i have used a teddy bear to find where children have been touched as well...breaks my heart a bit...

    1. That's why I got the anatomically correct dolls. The dolls actually made for that are horrid. I did save one little boy...where the system worked. So many where abuse was known but the system doesn't help them...and the angry parent pulls the child from therapy after mandated reporting. Ack.

  6. always the bear :)
    good poem, so much to think about

  7. Loved my bears too! Well done.