Remembering Through Amnesia

Mindful Stone Day 11

It's 11:11 pm on 1/11 as I write this.

A lifetime of trauma.
Healing begins at age 44.
Painful emotional healing.
Nightmares. Memories.
Healing.
Chunks of amnesia float through my brain.
Healing leads to awareness.
I rarely "saw" what was around me.
Since remembering,
short term memory has short circuited
and my former "photographic" memory has died.
Every day is a fight to even remember what I'm saying
in mid-sentence,
what it is I'm about to do or going to do.
To realize I'm being aware, is an aha moment.
It's a good thing.
Today I wrote mindfully, although not a stone.
Just having published it, my mind began to meander.
What I wrote sounded familiar. Very familiar.
Enough that I looked at my trauma survivor blog
and found I had written very nearly the exact thoughts
last week.
Delete.
Also a small victory.
Take that, amnesia!