dVerse: Death Defying

dVerse: OpenLinkNight

Polyvore by Grace Beam

his death three years ago

i should be clicking my heels

why the dark thoughts and feelings?

back to the drawing board

literally

process feelings with images

death with someone peeking through

after completing the art

i realize it is my internalized mother part

looking at me

diluted programming

still notice the message to join "him"

since integrating

i don't believe any former part

can act alone

but the feeling sucks

once again my desire

to celebrate his passing

is quashed by the brainwashing

of my past

proof the haunting continues

trying not to give it merit

yet must acknowledge

the grief my mother part

is feeling deeply

bonded to the abuser

stockholm syndrome

lives on after death

reaching me from his hell

CD: Suddenly One

Carpe Diem ~ Special #69

Hando´s 5th `caught by the call`

Write a new haiku in the same tone, sense and spirit as the one by Hando.

caught by the call
of the flowers and mountain, I forget
how steep the path is

(c) Hando

My inspired haiku: 

 suddenly one

alone in nature's wonder

long trek forgotten

Christmas Eve 2013

 

home alone by choice
to allow sadness and vulnerability
to surface as it must
realize it is the first time
i have been feeling good until last night
when the trauma-related feelings hit
but the sadness is not consuming me

it is not me down in the pit
it is me realizing the sadness
is another emotion
and it doesn't need to be alone
it has support from stronger feelings
it doesn't own me any longer

the guilt of staying home seems odd
since great sadness, especially tonight,
usually had me feeling nothing else
except anxiety
now i can hold all emotions
and just notice, acknowledge
let them co-exist
likely what most know as normal

i am truly one